A beginning for a play?

You mean it’s not true? It’s all been a fiction?

Yes, I’m sorry, I’m not who I’ve told you I am.

You’re not a first generation Chinese-Vietnamese-Australian from refugee origins?

No, I’m with the Chinese government. We want you to work for us.

Well, my dear, you are one thing if not direct, I’ll give you that.

Pause, she gives him a Mona-Lisa smile.

So all that chugalug was just what? You’re trying to get me to work for… I don’t even know what the Chinese intelligence service is called!

She looks at him blankly.

Chugalugs?

You’re fired.

Donald Trump, please resign. You’re not needed. You’re not the right person for the job, especially now. We’re about to be force-fed the second-rate circus that is a US election. Your presence will only make it more putrifying. I caught some grabs of the Democrats’ party convention this week and if it wasn’t bad enough listening to their delusionally smug commentariat the past four years, two fat greasy fingers stuffed down my throat would be a more enjoyable way to gag myself. Saddest, they seem to think it’s back to business as usual, as though the absurdity of a Trump presidency was not enough to shake them out of the stupefying orthodoxy. That’s the reason you’re president.

Obviously, Pence is an arse but he’ll scrape through the rest of the year. Anything is better than you, “leader of the free world”. What a wonderful advertisement for US democracy, for democracy in general. You’re a moron, get out, you’re fired.

team america vomit GIF